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“AKU RINDU”

(alm. Ust. Rahmat Abdullah-Allah Yarham)

 

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Halaqah adalah Kenikmatan, Bukan Sekedar Sambilan Apalagi Hiburan

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Membina adalah Kewajiban, Bukan Pilihan Apalagi Beban dan Paksaan

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Dauroh Menjadi Kebiasaan, Bukan Sekedar Pelengkap Pengisi Program yang Dipaksakan

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Tsiqoh Menjadi Kekuatan, Bukan Keraguan Apalagi Kecurigaan

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Tarbiyah adalah Pengorbanan, Bukan Tuntutan, Hujatan dan Objekan

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Nasehat Menjadi Kesenangan, Bukan Su’udzhon atau Menjatuhkan

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Kita Semua Memberikan Segalanya Untuk Dakwah Ini

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Nasyid Ghuraba Menjadi Lagu Keseharian

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Hadir Liqo adalah Kerinduan dan Terlambat adalah Kelalaian

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Malam Gerimis Pergi ke Puncak Mengisi Dauroh dengan Ongkos Terbatas dan Peta Tak Jelas

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Seoarang Ikhwah Benar-benar Berjalan Kaki 2 jam di Malam Buta Sepulang Tabligh Dakwah di Desa Sebelah

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Pergi Liqo Selalu Membawa Infaq, Alat Tulis, Buku Catatan dan Qur’an Terjemah ditambah Sedikit Hafalan

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Binaan Menangis Karena Tak Bisa Hadir di Liqo

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Tengah Malam Pintu Diketuk untuk Mendapat Berita Kumpul di Subuh Harinya

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Seorang Ikhwah Berangkat Liqo dengan Uang Belanja Esok Hari untuk Keluarganya

Aku Rindu Zaman

Ketika Seorang Murabbi Sakit dan Harus dirawat, Para Binaan Patungan Mengumpulkan Dana Apa Adanya

Aku Rindu Zaman Itu

Yaa Rabb…

Jangan Kau Buang Kenikmatan Berdakwah dari Hati Kami

Yaa Rabb…

Karuniakanlah Kepada Kami, Keistiqamahan di Jalan Dakwah Ini

__._,_.___

crochet 2nd

Crochet

The Blue, my dejection

The Blue, my dejection

When I remember the last time when I had active in the university, there is a different feeling. The time where I often get tausiah or just had made a discussion about married. I felt I had a big spirit to apply that one of sunnatullahs that it make usable to fulfill half of religion. I use to have a dream to apply it before age twenty five and with a strong motivation to get half, almost to all of my friends I told it, without any consideration and deep thinking and now I am more than quarter of century in age. After prepare myself, read so many books about married, discuss with many people and search in any webs. I am become afraid.

Nowadays, some friends told that I already old in age to marry with someone and I know it. I have felt alone since almost half of my friends get their final decision to sail in the new world. Being couple and make a family. Those make me more and more afraid. I am not afraid of doesn’t get the partner of life because of my age but so many things make me being scary. I am afraid of loneliness because no more friends and I am afraid of marry because of my defect and trauma. I am afraid to tie my egoism and block my dreams, I feel make me like in the prison, I still remember one of my lesson in the junior high school, my teacher told that mother Aisyah r.a have told if marry was a beautiful form of slavery. I want to be free to choose my own way to live and enjoy my life but sometimes, I wanna go away to far and far distances.  Find the new world that the societies don’t care about my status. I don’t know because I am so blue. I just wanna run away.

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I don’t know maybe I don’t afraid of marry but scary to love and to hurt because of love…

Enjoy the time

MY FAMILY IS MY OPULENCE

My creations

killing the time with knitting

Trying

try to make a definition  about love
to love my Lord, my Creator
try to make Him doesn't jealous, because of my foulness
try to accept all of my destiny
try to believe that Allah created me with all wisdom in it
he is going to give me all what I need, doesn't what I want
he gives me my injury to meet a beauty of life, patience
and maybe to test other one loyalty
and finally to the great definition of the great true love